I shaved my legs at the Hilton on 14th St. *Shameface*

So last night I decided what I was going to wear tonight. Hung said chosen dress on the back of my door, jumped in the shower, shaved my legs without my contact lenses in and paid for it today. I wore this short ass dress to work but over pants. After work I took the pants off and started walking to meet Meghan, look down and see what kind of blind ass job I did and that I could not go to the fiesta with hairy legs in my short dress. So what does a girl do when she doesn’t have time to go all the way home? Stop in CVS buy a cheap razor, dash into the nearest Hilton while she waits for Meghan and shave her legs in the sink.

BAD IDEA

There I stood in the lobby bathroom of the Hilton shaving my patchy hairy legs with handsoap and water with my $1.99 razer. Blood starts dripping from everywhere, I panic its about to get on my dress so I stand in the handycap stall, take my dress off and hang it up on the back of the door, stand there in my underwear, call Meghan who is stressing big time at work still and ask if she has cute kid bandaids (this makes her irate while she handles work biz) then text Soph and explain my fiasco, she tells me I should write it down, so here I am hours later watching Chelsea Handler and recounting my day.

DONT CRY DONT CRY DONT CRY DONT CRY

I tell this to myself as I stand there in mismatched drawers (which I HATE) smooth, but now bloody legs, and pretty much naked in a the handycap bathroom, where’s White Jesus in the form of Larry David when I need him? I heal the wounds, sit in the lobby and eat 3 cookies while I calm down.

STIFF DRINK PLEASE

I get to A Bar safe and sound. See, after a cran & vodka and hugs from friendly faces I’m almost fully recovered.

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~ by tortillacachupa on September 1, 2012.

One Response to “I shaved my legs at the Hilton on 14th St. *Shameface*”

  1. ahahahahaha- you missed a part of the story. ” when Meghen arrives to pick me up from the Hilton, she proceeds to search her purse for her lipgloss and pulls out the what I thought was a package of Always pad with wings. Nope!!!!!!!!!!! To my surprise, she is using the bright green bag to hold her ultra sheen hair grease, eucalyptus oil for her scalp and a spray bottle! WHERE WAS MY CAMERA!!!”

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